Reports :

1. My younger sister is definitely being scammed, a Nigerian 419 type of scam, that has resulted in her sending money to a wealthy, overseas fiancee who promises to come to the states and fly her to Ireland for their wedding sometime "soon." I know this is a scam and am working with friends and family members to try and help her accept reality and to prevent as much damage as we can. I am very thankful to this site and others for the very valuable information we've been able to use in our efforts.

I'm still worried about the effects, psychological and otherwise, that this kind of situation can have on the young children of the person being scammed?

I have a niece and a nephew, aged 10 and 12 respectively, that are currently living with the scam victim, a divorced mother who has been raising the children alone for nearly a decade. What do we know about the effects this is having on them? I've searched for answers on how to best talk to them, best protect them, and avoid the worst case scenario they could potentially be facing. I apologize if it's right under my nose on this site, however I haven't been able to find anything on this subject.

Does anyone have advice or suggestions on handling this aspect of the scam? Or any stories they can share? I know children are resilient and can bounce back quickly from disappointment, but I'm sure there are bigger threats we can maybe help to avoid in the future.

2. Hi Cameron. You raise very real concerns and are right in your assessment that there isn't much published on this subject, nor do we here have much experience with children of victims.

I can recall in the past that victims have mentioned that their chichen were involved with the scammer, but the contact was usually limited.

In my baiting years I even allowed a scammer to help my teen son with his algebra homework. But my son knew exactly what was going on and he didn't give up our real identities. He just appreciated the help with something I couldn't explain to him. We were all amazed that the low life, amoral, scammer was so smart with math.

As for advice with a 10 and 12 y/o, I'd say keep them out of it all. Don't inform them that their mother is being scammed. They can't help you convince her. The fact that she's involved with someone lying about his intentions towards her isn't much different in the eyes of a child, than if she were in a relationship that didn't work out. Let nature take its course. Their mom is going to be hurt, angry, depressed and sad as she would be with any break up. Children are resilient and usually not even interested in adult affairs. Just be there to support their mom. She's the one you really have to worry about.

If you know the children are in frequent contact with the scammer, then perhaps you should advise them that you have strong doubts that his intentions are real towards their mother and it would be best if they stay out of contact and let their mother work it out.

You might want to warn their mother that you have concerns about involving her children in an unproven long distance relationship, that no one wants to disappoint them if it doesn't work out but other than that, there's not much more you can do that won't alienate them all from you and push them deeper into the scammers control.

I hope this helps. As we've said here before, we're professionals at identifying and exposing scammers but none of us are psychologists and all we can offer is free, unqualified advise. You should do what you feel is best.

3. Thanks Pinky. I wasn't expecting such a quick reply and it's much appreciated.

I thought the situation had finally ended last weekend when she had a near nervous breakdown trying to scrap money together to send him at the expense of friends and family. Finally, she admitted it might be a scam and that she would go a few days without contact to sort things out before she started to get all her affairs back in order.

Two days later she was not only insisting that he was real but had agreed to give him her bank account number. That's where we stand with her at the moment. A true intervention is in the works for the near future.

As to my concerns about the children; over the course of those few days last weekend many of the people closest to her were attempting to be gently supportive while offering pragmatic advice and opinions that didn't fit with the fantastical construct that now exists in her mind and that is currently guiding her actions and emotions. Her children did not appreciate these efforts and looked at everyone as 'hurting' or 'not trusting' their mother. It was when addressing their concerns I learned how they had often talked to the scammer as well. Not only do they believe he's real and wants to be their father, they are expecting to move to Ireland where they'll have their own horses, go-carts, and all the other niceties that 'rich kids' have.

Rambling now so I'll wrap up by simply stating, "I'm concerned for the children's short-term safety and long-term psychological well being."

Thanks again. (And also, while I'm mostly posting for advice concerning the kids, and suggestions or warnings about the entire situation would be greatly welcomed.)

4. It sounds like a terrible mess but we already know how it will end. There is nothing more you can do. Just be sure no one you know gives her money. It will end when she's broke. If you persist in trying to convince them before they can accept the truth, they might never have contact with you again even when the scam is over. You already see how ruthless the scammer is to use children. He will easily convince them that it is your fault when the 'relationship' fails.

I know it's hard to sit back and watch the devastation occur, but the money is nothing compared to real family and love. Tell them all that you love them all and that even though you can't give them money or things, you'll always be there for them with compassion and love.

Several years ago, we here at romancescam were asked to participate in a Dr.Phil episode on these scams. We provided a lot of information and worked hard to get help for the family of a scam victim who was in a situation very much like the one you're in. In the end the producers had to go with another victim, one who was more willing to face evidence.

Our victim and her family had no patience, compassion and tolerance between them and the confrontations were horrible. The victim stole a great deal of money and ended up in prison. The family was destroyed. They no longer have contact with each other.

The scammers don't care. They are so totally devoid of conscience that their humanity is doubtful.

You might want to search out the Dr. Phil episode anyway. It wasn't too bad except it didn't accurately portray the scammers and there wasn't enough time to explain how easily victims get pulled in. I didn't like how it made the victim appear to be an idiot, which is rarely the case in real life. In real life, victims are generally just loving, compassionate and very lonely people. Maybe you could get your sister to watch it, but don't push.

5. It sounds like a terrible mess but we already know how it will end. There is nothing more you can do. Just be sure no one you know gives her money. It will end when she's broke. If you persist in trying to convince them before they can accept the truth, they might never have contact with you again even when the scam is over. You already see how ruthless the scammer is to use children. He will easily convince them that it is your fault when the 'relationship' fails.

I know it's hard to sit back and watch the devastation occur, but the money is nothing compared to real family and love. Tell them all that you love them all and that even though you can't give them money or things, you'll always be there for them with compassion and love.

Several years ago, we here at romancescam were asked to participate in a Dr.Phil episode on these scams. We provided a lot of information and worked hard to get help for the family of a scam victim who was in a situation very much like the one you're in. In the end the producers had to go with another victim, one who was more willing to face evidence.

Our victim and her family had no patience, compassion and tolerance between them and the confrontations were horrible. The victim stole a great deal of money and ended up in prison. The family was destroyed. They no longer have contact with each other.

The scammers don't care. They are so totally devoid of conscience that their humanity is doubtful.

You might want to search out the Dr. Phil episode anyway. It wasn't too bad except it didn't accurately portray the scammers and there wasn't enough time to explain how easily victims get pulled in. I didn't like how it made the victim appear to be an idiot, which is rarely the case in real life. In real life, victims are generally just loving, compassionate and very lonely people. Maybe you could get your sister to watch it, but don't push.

6. I would like to add that in addition to emotional hurt, financial loss your sister signing up herself as accomplice of the mafia by giving them the bank account info. She as an owner is solely responsible for all the transactions and if scammers will perform money laundering via this account it could send her up to 20 years in prison if convicted of that offense. Unfortunately there is no mercy for money mules :(

Hope you could post the info of fraudster : email address, phone number, pictures used, fake profile, money request.

Your sister must know that there is no way to get money back from scammers. If there is a promise of payment back and anything will arrive at her account it will come from another victim who will most likely report fraud to the FBI and then her name will be associated with cyber crime. It's very danger game.

7. Thanks, Pinky. I go back and forth on whether holding an intervention is a good idea or not. So it's not something I'm 'strongly' for, however I'm not against it, either. There'd be about 7 or 8 family members present, and the children would absolutely not be there.

And thank you Igulinka, yes, I'm very, very concerned that she gave 'his bank' her bank account number. At first I was scared he was going to drain her account or put a little back in just to gain more of her trust. It was the latter fear that opened my eyes to the bigger threat you're describing. Money laundering. Not only would he be gaining more trust he'd gain an avenue to launder money they've accrued from other victims and other schemes.

Should money appear in her account, can she get in trouble even if she never sends another dime back to him?

All I have that I could possibly post is a screen cap I grabbed of the fake Facebook profile. Two photos, a nickname, and little about his location in the UK.

8. If another victim of this scammer will deposit money into her account she won't get in trouble as long as she will return it to the victim and by law even though she is responsible for her bank account anyone can deposit money to it and it's not a crime. To transfer it to the scammers it's a crime - money laundering.

Please know that she should close that account immediately and open brand new. Now the scammers have her whole profile and may sell it among other gangs for the profits.

If they asked for the info they certainly will used it. She must understand she heading for disaster. No real ,decent man will ever put her through what scammers do.

9. I am not sure how to make my own post on this guy but a friend of mine was just scammed out of 10,000 by this guy.

I was however able to do a lot of digging on him: He claims his name is jonathan edwards.

He has two facebook profiles one listed as Don Jon the other is his name. I will provide links later. He wanted a bank transfer using the royal bank of scottland to an account belonging to patrick nnamani. Who I later discovered this linkedin profile for https:/ /www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-nnamani-e-6252b013.

My friend also has 3 kids and is absolutely traumatized. He is now currently threatening her with pictures